Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
