i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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