if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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