yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
