he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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