are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
