your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize