Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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