well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
