New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
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Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
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We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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