And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
