Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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