hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
