you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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