This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
this just has baby written all over it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
