you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize