I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
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No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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