I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
