Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
