so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
