so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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