i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
