Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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