Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
