Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
