Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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