i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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