you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you didnt know i had herpes?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
