dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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