I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
