I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
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I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
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50% drunk capacity currently
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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