Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
