Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
