Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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