Yo dont text me then not text me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
