No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
