think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so let's talk penis.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
