Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize