Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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