Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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