He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
