I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
