why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
