i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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