He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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