They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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