were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
