until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
