Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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