belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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