Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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