Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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