his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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