Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
