Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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