I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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