Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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