I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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