: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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