Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize