After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
