Me. At least after what I've been through.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
