Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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