I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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