She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
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walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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